She was 19, an undergraduate who was a “very committed Christian”. She went to church regularly, attended a cell group and served in Sunday School.

“But she came into my clinic in tears,” said Dr P Buvanaswari, Senior Consultant Psychiatrist at Promises Healthcare.

“When I asked her what brought her here, she said: ‘You know, I keep wanting to go and be with Jesus faster.’ She was basically saying, in a very indirect way, that she was contemplating suicide.

“A lot of people, especially if they are Christians, serving in ministry, in leadership positions in church, feel a lot of guilt admitting weakness or seeking help.

“A lot of them come to me and say, ‘What’s wrong with me? Am I a bad Christian? Why is it that I haven’t been able to get out of this myself?’” 

Dr Buvanaswari was part of a panel at the Christian Mental Health Conference (CMH) 2025 that explored youth mental health issues. Also on the panel were Delane Lim, founder of HappYouth and Asher Low, founder of Limitless. Moderating the discussion was Rev Chua Seng Lee, Senior Pastor of Bethesda Bedok Tampines Church (BBTC) and co-founder of CMH.

The moderator and panelists of the discussion at the recent Christian Mental Health Conference.

“We want you to know what are the symptoms (of mental health issues). Then you know how to refer your friends or loved ones for the help they need.

“At the same time, when you’re aware of the telltale signs, you are actually taking care of your own soul,” Delane told the attendees.

Added Ps Seng Lee: “I hope that today in this dialogue, we will learn to look at mental health not as an obstacle, but as an opportunity where the Church can actually reach out to youths and help our young people and the young people beyond our church walls.”

What is troubling our youths?

Our youths are hurting.

In a report released by the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) in 2024, it was noted that 1 in 3 young people (30.6%) in Singapore aged between 15 and 35 have experienced severe or extremely severe symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress. Of these, a third sought no help at all, Delane pointed out.

“Anxiety issues are the top issues that we see at Limitless, followed by mood issues like depression, dysthymia,” said Asher. “We are also seeing a large percentage of the youths come to us with suicidal ideation.”

Asher Low is the founder of Limitless which provides free counselling and mental health services.

Dr Buvanaswari added that the World Health Organisation (WHO) also published statistics with regard to youth mental health. They found that 50% of all mental health difficulties begin at or before the age of 14. In another study published in the US, 75% of all people with anxiety disorders displayed symptoms as teens or children.

“It’s very important for us to recognise that the difficulties can start quite young,” she concluded.

It’s a different world today

So why is it that this generation seems to be suffering from mental health problems more than the generations before?

Said Asher: “We have to understand that they live in a separate world from us. They are growing up hyper connected, with burdens and worries about things that are happening overseas that you know they actually are not affected by but still affect them.

“They’re bombarded with knowledge and stresses that they’re not ready for, or they’re not mature enough to handle. Being on social media consistently doesn’t really help.”

This hyper connectivity impacts this generation in another way.

“Last time when we didn’t know the answer, either we lived with not knowing the answer or we figured it out the hard way. We went to the library, we asked our parents, we reached out for encyclopedias,” Asher explained.

Now with increased connectivity, “the answer to everything is in the pocket, on our phones”. Because things come much faster to this generation, they do not build resilience.

This generation is also spending a lot more time – more than three hours daily – on social media. Of those who do, 20% reported body image concerns and 20% report being cyber bullied, according to the IMH report.

“Cyber bullying is one of those things that we never experienced when we were children. These are the new things that youths today are having to deal with that we don’t have personal experience to fall back on, in terms of how to advise them,” said Dr Buvanaswari.

Dr P Buvanaswari is a Senior Consultant Psychiatrist at Promises Healthcare,  a psychiatric clinic in Singapore offering expert mental health treatment by certified psychiatrists and clinical psychologists.

There are other pressures that youths of today face that never existed before. Hustle culture where intense work is glorified to the detriment of personal time, cancel culture where shaming and boycotts take place on public platforms, the increasing cost of living that makes 15-year-olds wonder if they can afford a house in the future – these are all unique to current times.

What can we do?

1. Normalise mental health struggles

“We are all biological creatures,” stated Dr Buvanaswari.

“We are all made up of cells and chemicals. And because we live in a fallen world, not everything works the way it should.

“We would like everything to be in order and work perfectly. But (sometimes) our bodies don’t work the way that they were designed to.”

It is important, then, to normalise mental health issues and “reduce that barrier and stigma for people to reach out and get help”.

Allowing the youths to see our vulnerabilities as parents and church leaders also normalises having problems and struggles, dispelling the myth that there is “something seriously wrong with me” when they encounter difficulties.   

2. Connect with our youths

While the youths are connected, they ironically feel isolated because cyber connectivity creates relational loneliness. As a result, instead of seeking help from people, they turn to AI for support.

Said Delane: “They feel that being in a cyber world is a safe place because nobody knows who you are.”

Delane Lim is the founder of HappYouth which equips youths with the skills and knowledge to navigate the world as future leaders.

Dr Buvanaswari agreed: “A lot of youths don’t feel a sense of connection or belonging in their families or their churches.

“They feel they fit in more with those online communities. They feel a sense of belonging, acceptance. There is no judgement. That’s what attracts them there.”

Asher added: “We need to think about how we can make the support the church or mental health providers.”

3. Be present

Said Delane: “The problem with a lot of us is that we know there’s a problem, then we want to fix it. But actually, sometimes fixing it is not the solution. It’s about being there and being present.

“It is about asking better questions and listening with compassion so that we can better understand our young people. It’s about being the safe person that they can share their thoughts with.”

To be that safe person, compassion is needed, especially at a time when they are developing their identities as individuals and experiencing uncertainty because of “bodily changes, mental changes, social changes”.

Said Asher: “When we think about how Jesus responded when He went to Lazarus when Lazarus died, the first thing He did was He wept. Jesus wept because Jesus felt for Mary and Martha (John 11:35).

“The weeping is the expression of the fact that ‘I feel you’. After I weep, then the miracle can happen. Then we can build a safe space where they can communicate those challenges and we can remind them that their identity is in Christ. I think that will settle a lot of their emotions.”

When is “pray more” a wrong solution?

“Pray more.” “Have more faith.” “God has a plan for you.”

These are common Christian responses when young people share their mental health struggles. Sometimes, these can be inappropriate responses.

“When mental health is over spiritualised, then faith can unintentionally become a hinderance to mental health progression,” said Delane.

“When struggles are met with shame – causing young people to feel spiritually inadequate and unworthy – and faith is misapplied, then the whole topic (of mental health) will be avoided altogether.”

But faith can “be a source of healing” if there is a healthy and compassionate environment. Then faith can be a strong protective factor, providing a sense of connection and support that reduces loneliness and isolation.

“It also provides a framework of understanding pain and adversity through hope and growth. Practices like prayer and worship offer emotional grounding. Moral anchors, core values like love, grace and forgiveness help young people to navigate guilt, shame or brokenness,” added Delane.

For families, he had a word of caution: “Let’s not build your family esteem based on your child’s performance. When you do that, you unknowingly load your expectations on your child.”

It’s not about you

For those journeying with youths with mental health challenges – Pastors, counsellors, youth leaders – the “ability to check in and check out” is important.

“When we take it too personally, it actually affects your own mental health,” said Delane.

“Don’t blame yourself and don’t bring the issue back to your home.”

Instead, “build structures of support”, said Asher. These come in two forms. One is infrastructural support.

“Say the CGL (cell group leader) is the one helping you with your mental health. That guy cannot be the only one. You must have a structure in place for him to tell you when this happens, where there is this need and this action needs to be taken.”

The second type of support is teamwork. Just as Jesus sent His disciples out two by two (Luke 10:1-12), those who render help must have access to help themselves.

The discussion ended with the panelists emphasising the importance of reaching the youths.

“Whoever wants the next generation the most will get them,” said Dr Buvanaswari. “Whoever will prioritise and intentionally pursue the young people will get them. And the world is doing that. Are we?” 

Delane added: “Let our churches be more than a sanctuary of worship; (let it be) a sanctuary for broken hearts. Let us create a church that we can make room for people to struggle.”

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