“Mental health has been something that I have struggled with for many years in my life.”

This was a heartfelt confession made more poignant by the fact that it was uttered by the winsome Felicia Chin. An actress and host, Felicia is a familiar face on national television who has also fronted Christian digital media 还好吗？and is World Vision Singapore’s Goodwill Ambassador.  

Felicia Chin struggled for many years with her mental health. Photo courtesy of Mediacorp.

There were times in her 20s when all she could do was to lock herself in her darkened room for days on end, emerging only because she had an acting assignment. She was also bulimic, using food as an “unhealthy coping mechanism” for the stresses that came with stardom.

When Felicia became a Christian 10 years ago, her relationship with God brought her “a lot of hope”.

“As I journey with God, I feel like there’s a greater awareness of certain things that I’ve struggled with as a teenager, as a youth and as a young adult.

“Without God, I wouldn’t be sitting here and sharing with you certain things I have overcome and am still overcoming.”

Felicia was speaking at the second Salt&Light’s Uncomfortable Conversations series on Mental Health and the Church. The talks put the spotlight on thorny issues that often go undiscussed.

On the panel with Felicia were Shantini Sathiyanesan, a counsellor with Samaritans of Singapore (SOS), and Dr Adrian Loh, a Senior Consultant Psychiatrist at Promises Healthcare. Moderating the discussion was Ps Edric Sng, editor of Thirst Collective and Deputy Senior Pastor of Bethesda Bedok Tampines Church (BBTC).

(Left to right) Ps Edric Sng, Felicia Chin, Dr Adrian Loh and Shantini Sathiyanesan.

In Part 2 of the report on the panel discussion, Salt&Light looks at the questions asked and answered.

Did Jesus struggle with His mental health?

The Bible never uses the terms common to us now. So there were no direct mentions of depression or mental health. But the conditions from which we suffer existed in the Bible.

Said Ps Edric: “In the book of Hebrews, it tells us Jesus walked the same journey on earth as we did (Hebrews 4:15). He understood the human condition.

“Did He deal with the same stresses and the same challenges that we face as humans? Yes, He did. He was fully man.”

How, then, did He deal with it?

“Prayer. Fully man, He had to speak to Father God to receive comfort, to receive power. And for us as fully man now ourselves. it will be the same recourse.

Ps Edric Sng shared wisdom from lived experienced and God’s truth on dealing with mental health struggles.

“The best thing that can help us is really establishing the prayer altar, having that connection with God, being able to hear His voice more and more and more,” continued Ps Edric who shared during the discussion that he had, himself, struggled with mental health challenges in his 20s.

What should be done if a leader in church struggles with mental health?  

In Shanti’s church, her Pastor was very open about his mental health struggles. As a result, everyone in the church knew of his challenges and the leadership exercised plenty of grace with him.

“There are certain days like he just has to walk out and they are fine with it. So it’s the whole leadership coming together and acknowledging, ‘How can we support this person?’ because if the messaging is to step down, then what about your congregation, those who struggle?”

She also suggested a sabbatical for a period of rest if necessary, something with which Dr Loh agreed.

Shantini Sathiyanesan credited her church and pastor for their willingness to talk about and deal with mental health issues that created an environment within which she could heal. Photo courtesy of SOS.

He said: “There is always the MC (medical certificate) option for a period of medical rest. There is a whole range of options. I think the idea is to individualise the so-called ‘get well’ plan for the person.”

Can a Christian use medication for mental health?

Said Ps Edric: “One way to view medication as a Christian is to see that they get you off the very bottom of things so that you’re a little bit more stable and able to think through and process what you’re feeling from a more stable platform.

“It’s hard to deal with things when your mind and emotions are all over the place. The medication does help you to lift a little bit of that so that you can start to process it a little bit more rationally, reasonably.”

Shanti agreed, sharing from her personal experience.

“I stopped counselling so that I could stabilise my medication and just (care for) my body because I was not eating. I couldn’t eat. Whatever I ate, I would vomit right out.

“So my counsellor worked with my psychiatrist and said, ‘Let’s work on the medication part first.’ Then when I was slightly better, I went back to deeper work (with counselling).”

For those who are hesitant about seeking medical help, Dr Loh said: “Mental health issues are very complex. We use the term ‘multifactorial’ (to describe them). When someone presents with a certain mental state of being, it’s going to be influenced by so many different factors. It’ll be very reductionist or simplistic when we say that it’s only dealt with one way.”

Dr Adrian Loh is an experienced psychiatrist with a subspecialty focus in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Photo courtesy of Promises Healthcare.

He added: “Often a model we use includes a biological, psychological and social component to mental health and, in the church context, then we add in also the spiritual dimension.”

Treatment, then, should address the different factors contributing to the person’s mental state. This would require a “team approach” that includes psychiatric and pastoral care along with peer support.

Felicia shared from her personal journey how care can come from several quarters. At a church camp in 2023, God gave her two visions. In the first, she saw her heart “broken into many, many pieces”. On the last day of the camp, she saw “a hand and a heart whole again and beating”.

Last year, Felicia decided to seek counselling. When she went to the clinic, the first thing she saw was the logo of the place.

“It’s actually a hand with a full red heart on top of it, looking exactly like what I I saw one year ago. And I just felt like: Wow! That is such a confirmation that this is the place that I should be.

“Mental health is really a spirit, soul, body thing. I feel like the Lord is most interested in our wholeness and our health from within.”

How can I help those with suicide ideation?

Make sure the person has the SOS number – 1767. The hotline is helpful to those who have lost someone to suicide as well.

After Shanti’s suicide attempt, she was “really angry with God” because she had sought medical help, but the process was fraught with difficulties.

“I was in and out of hospital, constipation, I couldn’t even eat, I was vomiting. I had to try so many different medications and that was really, really hard.

“I wished that more people in the church knew that this was part of the process, and it’s not because I was not praying enough or not because I was not taking professional help seriously.

“It was really that journey of finding that medication. Even finding a therapist was really hard,” she said.

She spoke of the importance of understanding that people struggling with depression might unintentionally hurt the people around them.

“It’s not the person. It’s really the diagnosis. Don’t avoid the person or walk on eggshells around them.”

Ps Edric made a heartfelt plea to those contemplating suicide: “Don’t give up. Don’t give up. Don’t give up.”

From age 16 to 23, he was so depressed that he had to be on medication. One day, in his early 20s, he “came to be standing right at the ledge of the top floor of a block of flats”.

“There were two ways to get down from that building. One was the fast way which was very tempting at that time. The other was the slow route – get off the ledge, go to the lift, get down and get on with life.

“For 10, 15 minutes, I stood on that ledge and I didn’t know which way I would go.”

At that time, he had all but “abandoned the faith” even though he had been brought up in a Christian family.

“About 20 years later, here I am. It’s taken me that long to start to get a glimpse of why God took me off that ledge.

“God loves you. He treasures you. He cherishes you. You may not see it or feel it right now, but God is there. And as you grieve, as you struggle, He is weeping, grieving right alongside you.

“My belief is that one day those of us who are picked up from the ledge, who are given the experience of journeying back and understanding God’s plan for us, one day we will pay it forward.

“One day, our experience will help someone else who is that close to the ledge. You may not see it now, but I believe that day will come.”

Is suicide a sin?

Beneath this question is a plethora of other questions: What degree of judgement will they face? Will they go to heaven? How could they do such a thing if they are Christians?

“The question is not, ‘Is it a sin God judges’ but ‘What is a sin and what’s not a sin?’” said Ps Edric.

“I think God understands that no one wants to commit suicide. We are pushed to the edge. I think God has deep compassion for the fallenness of this world that drives us towards things.

“I think there are many things for God to judge us on, but the one main thing He judges us on is, ‘Did you believe that Jesus was your Lord and Saviour?’

“So my personal belief is don’t worry too much about ‘Is it a sin?’. Understand the heart of our God, focus on the love of God.

“One day you’ll get the final answer. The only unpardonable sin is the sin of blaspheming the Holy Spirit, abandoning God entirely. Would this count as that? I would think God would judge compassionately.”

How do you support someone who is grieving?

Sit with them, let them cry, acknowledge that it is painful and listen to them, said Shanti.

In the initial stages of grief, they may not feel God. Telling them to trust God may not comfort them. Instead, check in on them regularly. In time, offer to pray for them.

Added Ps Edric: “Sometimes you may have to sit very long with them. Grief has its own time scale for different people.”

Recognise the stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression – and offer practical help to the person and his family so they can carry on the responsibilities of life, said Dr Loh.

Felicia talked about when she tore her ankle ligament two years ago. She was left unable to walk for a season and she grieved the loss.

“I lost something within myself. And it was something that I allowed myself to grieve over and I came to a point where after really like talking to God, I realised that it’s either I trust God that something good can come out of it or I continue to just rant and be negative about it.”

How does faith feature in mental health struggles?

Felicia talked about a time in her 20s before she came to the faith. She was “really down about work” and there was no one to whom she could confide.

“I remember there were nights when I would go to my kitchen alone at night about midnight. I’d kneel there and then I’d look at the dark skies and I’d just cry out to the dark skies and just share my deepest pain, wondering if there’s someone who will hear.

“I even said things like, ‘Why don’t I have a father?’ because my father had died.”

When she became a Christian, her Pastor was following up with her and felt prompted to start with a chapter on the relationship with the Father.

“At that point in time, I realised that Father God was always there even when I didn’t know Him,” said Felicia.

Last year, Felicia had a vision of Jesus next to her, holding her when she was alone in her kitchen in her 20s.

“You are never alone,” she said. “God is with you, and He hears you and sees you. God knows exactly what you’re going through. He will be there for you. Trust in Him.”

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