“My mummy told us not to play with you,” said a boy to me when we were both 12 years old.

Those words hit harder than any physical pain I had ever felt. It wasn’t just rejection – it was humiliation.

All I wanted was to laugh, run around and play like any other kid. But that day, everything changed. I remember standing there feeling confused and upset as the other kids turned away from me. My heart sank.

I thought to myself: “Why did I have to be born with eczema? Why can’t I just be normal?”

That moment stayed with me. It planted seeds of shame and self-doubt.

“Over time, I started to believe my red, inflamed skin from eczema wasn’t just something people noticed. It became a part of who I thought I was,” writes the author, now 40.

Years later, in the darkest season of my life – while struggling with Stage Four bile duct cancer – something I never expected happened.

Healing came, transforming my skin and how I saw myself and my purpose in life.

The weight of “flakes”

For me, eczema wasn’t just a skin condition – it felt like a prison. For 38 years, it controlled how I saw myself, how others treated me, and how I felt about my worth.

It wasn’t the mild dry itchy skin people often imagine. It was severe. It was non-stop. At times, it felt unbearable. Even simple daily activities – like taking a shower – was a challenge.

Sores on the author’s palms in late 2018.

When I was a child, strangers often gave me wary looks. Some thought I might be contagious or unclean. Their stares and whispers made me feel ashamed of how I looked.

By the time I became a teenager, I believed what they seemed to think about me: I’m ugly; no one will ever love or date me; I’m not good enough. Those thoughts shaped how I saw myself for years.

Eczema didn’t just change how I looked; it made it harder to make new friends. I often stayed away from social situations – not because I didn’t want to be around people, but because I thought they wouldn’t want to be around me.

During my National Service, my colleagues gave me a nickname: Flakestorm. It might sound like a superhero name out of an X-Men movie, but for me, it was a painful reminder of my condition.

Damein (left) celebrating life after National Service with an army mate.

My skin was so dry that flakes would gather on tables or on the floor under my seat. At home, my mum often swept up piles of dead skin in my room and show them to me.

While this was her way of telling me that I needed to take better care of myself, all it did was just make me feel even worse – I was even a burden to her.

One day, I accidentally turned on the fan. Flakes flew everywhere just like real snowstorm. I remember thinking, “Well, there goes my chance at feeling normal. I’m stuck in a snow globe of shame”.

By my late 20s, things only got worse. Stress from work triggered flare-ups. My skin was itchy and inflamed. It felt like my body was on fire.

The thought of taking a shower filled me with dread. Some nights, I’d sit at my desk for 30 minutes, trying to convince myself to step into the water. When I finally did, it felt like acid burning my skin.

Over time, I started to fear showers altogether. Eczema wasn’t just on my skin anymore. It weighed on my heart and mind, trapping me in a cycle of shame and hopelessness.

This repeated cycle eventually led to the first episode of major depression in 2016. I told God to take me to heaven that instant. I had enough of this life, I felt like staying alive was just a waste of money and time.

Feeling invisible

Over the years, I tried everything to get better. Steroid creams? Check. Special diets? Check. Traditional Chinese medicine? Check. Christian healing rallies? Of course.

The author in his dorm room at seminary in May 2016, the year he had his first episode of major depression.

At one rally, the preacher said: “God wants to heal you today!” He started going through a list – cancer, blindness and other major illnesses.

I waited anxiously for him to say something about skin conditions, hoping that God would have finally heard my plea.

But he didn’t. Instead, at the very end, he added, “… and anyone else who needs healing, please step forward”.

I felt invisible. I thought, “Even in a place where miracles were happening around me, my condition doesn’t matter.” It wasn’t just eczema that hurt – it was the lies it made me believe.

I told myself: “Maybe I don’t deserve healing. Maybe I didn’t pray hard enough. Maybe I’m not even worth God’s time.”

Sometimes, I would try to brush it off.

Wounds on his hands in May 2019.

“There are people dealing with worse things,” I would tell myself. But deep down, the longing to be free from eczema never went away.

Baking cookies with gloves to protect his eczema-wounded hands.

Proverbs 13:12 captures my feelings perfectly: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”

All these years I had held onto hope, but at this point that deep sense of rejection had already convinced me otherwise – I was done praying and begging.

“What magic is this?”

In July 2022, something unexpected happened. At the time, I was battling Stage Four bile duct cancer.

My doctors warned me that the treatment might make the eczema worse. (Read about Damein’s cancer journey here.)

In August 2023, in the midst of treatment for cancer, Damein’s eczema started clearing up.

But instead, something strange happened: The eczema disappeared. I’ll never forget the first shower I took after being discharged from the hospital.

I braced myself for the usual sting of water on my skin. But it didn’t come.

I thought: “Wait … what magic is this!?” Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. My skin stayed clear.

After 38 years, my eczema was gone. I couldn’t explain it. For the first time in my life, I felt free.

At first, I kept waiting for it to come back. I had lived with it for so long that being without it felt unreal.

But as the months passed, I began to accept the truth. The eczema wasn’t coming back – God had not forgotten my desire for healing.

What I learned

While living with eczema taught me how to endure challenges, it also made me more in tune with the suffering of others.

As a child, being rejected for something I couldn’t control left scars on my heart and made me feel helpless. It made me believe I wasn’t worth much – not to others, and not to myself.

Looking back, I realise I wasn’t alone. Even in my hardest moments – those painful showers, the sleepless nights, and the days I felt invisible – I was being held together by something greater than myself; Jesus was there with me.

Healing wasn’t just about clear skin. It was about letting go of the lies I believed for so long. It helped me see that my worth wasn’t tied to how I looked or how others treated me.

During my cancer journey, my relationship with my dad was also healed. But that is a story for another day – watch this space.

Through all this, God reminded me of a profound truth: His love isn’t earned. Healing isn’t a reward for good behaviour; it is a gift from our loving Father.

Living in freedom

Today, I enjoy taking a shower and hop in without hesitation. I no longer brace myself for the sting of water or the burn of soap.

In October 2024, the author was finally able to start working out in a gym.

These things might seem ordinary to most people. But for me, they are incredible victories.

Even more importantly, I’ve let go of the lies I used to tell myself. The thoughts that said I wasn’t good enough. The ones that said no one could love me or that I didn’t matter – they no longer control me.

Each shower I take, each glance at my clear skin, reminds me that there is a God who loves and cares for me.

He didn’t just heal my skin. He restored something far greater: My faith in His presence and goodness.

While my prayers were not answered immediately, I knew God heard them loud and clear. Most importantly, I realised my life mattered to God.

A message of hope

If you’re struggling – whether it’s with eczema or something else – I want you to know: Things can change, even if it feels like they never will.

Healing doesn’t always come the way we expect, but that doesn’t mean God isn’t at work. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”

For 38 years, I thought eczema would be with me forever. I believed I would never be free. But I was wrong. Healing came when I least expected it. Jesus changed everything.

God healed me in a season I could never have imagined, and through it, He reminded me that nothing is impossible for Him.

Damein during Chinese New Year 2025. His skin had cleared up and he was back to a healthy weight, after shedding the kilos gained during chemotherapy.

This healing wasn’t just about my skin – it was about restoring the core of who I am. God used this journey to rebuild my faith, renew my sense of worth, and deepen my relationship with Him.

Looking back now, I can see that God was always there. And if He was there for me, He’s there for you too.

This story is adapted from Damein Cheong’s book Convergence: Seeing God’s Redemptive Plan in the Midst of Facing Death. 

A version of this story first appeared on Stories of Hope.

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